ABYSS

I should have sat down and written this
While I was still high off of you.

It would've been bliss relived in words...
Describing every second with you.

I would've been passionate
I would've been particular in my infliction
You would've known WHAT you've DONE

I may have been shit over drunk on you
But it was the heart-pounding moment that I needed.

I was dying before this night
Understand the distinction

Tonight wasn't any
It had me fallen out
Yet empowered
Profound weaknesses
You made foul too and bless it
my feeling infallible is creating this being...

To think I wanted passion for so many nights lost

Inside overjoyed
awaken the deepest again
Evoking my lost soul
She was about to jump and fall into cold

wet flames.

Without malaise
My body crawled up a destroyed soul that you are
And combated you.
She that was once a small, engulfed and dismissed shadow

Dimmed low that night
I came out and met you tonight
Fulfilled you
I needed you
I'm grateful that my desires weren't memory ...
Loosening my fright

That glorious high...
There's where I want to be
In Abyss of you.

Robbing me of myself

I lost my muse,
My faintly quivering heart is spark-less
I looked up to The Lord
Yelling my concede
I flowered all of this world with bits lacking
Leaving my fragmented and anger
I'm lackluster not so positive now
I'm scared I'm going back to sadness
I can't help it
This time the happiness in me has suffered her last blow.
She cries out continuously
Bellowing out the life that remained
I could keep fighting but why dare face this
It is morbid to keep killing yourself
Day in day out - watching the blood draining again on to the floor.
The devil I'd say is alive and well
She lights candles outside my lids
To keep me awake
So she and I never sleeps.
I'm not lonely that badness is here
Feeding off of my eagerness
My passion
My heroic amplitude
This beast is eating it
Tears the tissues and my fibers
All the muscles are exposed
The heat leaving my body is poisoned
I'll never see life again
I'll never breathe air again
I asked The Lord to help me
I think he left me
The devil was to close
The devil is leeching on me to exist
Where is my being?
Doesn't she want to stand up ?
Why is she always dying ?
My flowers are weak and unearthed
Theres not a beginning or an end
This madness can go on for moons
I'm a lost soul.
I have no soul.
And now no flesh.
That beautiful spirit is gone
Will she be messed
You can't bring back what is long gone.
You can dialogue this pain for textbooks
It is the ultimate end to life.
My muse left me
No longer a lifeline
No longer a savior
No longer a spirit
I've been dismembered
I've been robbed of all of me.
Of myself.
Now I'm in the world of all that is no more.
No longer me or her or 

myself.

Quote of the day

... that when two objects collide there is always damage of a collateral nature.....

-unknown

Loving this love tonight

I feel poise in my skin tonight
Washing that old off with rosé water and such
I feel blessed in this joy tonight
I'm happy I'm in love within the air tonight I need the truth to speak aloud
It is magnificent the storm brew outside but I'm in joy tonight.
I have peace in my life tonight
I renewed tonight
I needed splendor tonight
I need word in my life
I needed the rage to come to light
The Lord spoke in my ears
He told me to fuel the earth
To set speed in the world tonight
He has awaken me with vigor and terror in waters
In plain earth
I'm am awake to shovel
To mull threw
Never feeling the sting
The winds are amongst me now
I can take flight
There's junction in the world tonight
I'm the bull
I'm the pearl
I'm the cock
I'm the kitten
I'm all that you can mask tonight
I am renewed.

The music that shaped my heart

You'll forever hear my heart!!!

They are my beauties

From the moment I saw them
They stole my breath
They smelled of lavender and honey
Dewey love oozing from their cries
beautiful and soft
I love them like words of the sweetest love songs
I love them more then the wind the structure the tides
I love them as the water that rushes down mountain side of the northern border touching the heavens
I created life and they are loving me
I created hearts that will beat and nurture souls
I paved life for love
I started a love line
I love them more than time that has been given to me.
They are my heart
My world
I live and love them more then creation .
The moment I saw them they stole my breathe.

Starting Tomorrow

I will not say your name
I will not think about what we did
I will not daydream
I will not cry
I will not blame my heart
Not this time
I will not try jump into anything soon
I will not try to upgrade you
I will not think about the time we met
I will not pray for you
I will not starve my body and mind
Not this time
I will not get angry and yell up to the sky
I will not arrest myself and die

I feel as though this is over
As over can ever get
I was wrong to talk to you
So it's time I forget.
Starting tomorrow
But right now I love you!

Time woes

Bothersome silence and achy bones riddle me on this warm night.
The icy dull pains gnawing at the physical layers is in my bed.
Twisting and turning pulling and stretching the limits of this human flesh are my plight.

So much of physical woes exist but nothing like the missing of you.
That ache, let me deduce it through.
The horizon could be magnificent but I all I feel is
Destruction up my sides at the thought of you lips not always kissing mine.
My arms get weak at movement of sweaty grind.
I miss the sight of you feeling the vibes I give.
I want you to be mine.
Be mine again
I want that danger.
My bleeding soul is in need of you.
Your lips they take me to ecstasy.
I first time you licked my flesh my soul collapsed.
I heard the purring of the goddesses.
Hail like patterns with fingers
He feels my earth rattle and my hair limp.
He grabs my flesh and penetrates it with force.
He is my meal, my dessert and he is my full course.
Warriors, gladiators, beast have nothing on you.
My rolled back in acute spiritual perversion.

Take breathe now.

But Am in this bed.
Instead without you.
Crushed body and soul.
Dried salty tears pasted on my cheeks.
Nothing is worst then the ache I feel.
The pain is beyond unreal.

Time for a much needed disappearance

It's Better to be far away and gone!!!!!
This is the life God chose for me.
Acceptance is what's needed.
Silence is key.
Di*

Him versus I

I,
whispered hello,
our first eye contact he is scared by my image
So, He is avoiding me with lies,
I've sweeten him
I'm telling him my world
Begin feeling the truth
He is proving that he is
fragile
Ill take his word...

He chases me with wit and conversation
Charm and grace
He has defused me.
We beat night with the night
To close out our day.
He has struck me silently
I should not fight this
Ill stay

We decide,
In this moment
We are not together yet he is right here with me.
In the this life that we are loving and living as just for today
He is far from close by really just a few miles away
He's scent is still on me like oils of many days,
I'm melting at the thought of him entering my pathway.

He is sending chills to me.
I'll need to discover what this is.
Should it die and be buried away...
No I'm indeed in a Cesar state
Yet these chills there involuntary.

He calls out to me.
With need and desire.
He can bury in me where there's warmth here in between my world
We will dance slowly now
We will kiss hands now
We laugh in circumstances,
He knows the whimsy is my switch;

O so he is found my place.

He has found my deepest place
His has encrusted his fingers nails in my skin
yet I feel no pain
He taste is on my lips better then honey wine from heaven
We are harmonizing moans now
He patterns aren't familiar but I'm here
I'm a quick study
He can trust this now
It's all his world within me.
He moved my soul in one deep movement
My heart is jolted like electricity bolting

These moments are so soothing

His waves through my veins
I can't feel my woes- there drowned out by him
In one breath
He became,
the light
and light dimmed low 
He became the air 
Now the air is moist with sweat
The dewey nectar seeping everywhere...
That tension filled body is screaming out...

He is a real life
He is a real being
He is a real man

A man
A man with a path
A mission into my soul.

He is crushed my sickness
He crushed my insolvency
He torn out my bruises
He has choked out the cancer in my lungs
With his detox

This thunder of a man has broke though the clouds
To taste it
Its sweetness

In hopes its not over
I breathe just to be certain
And he touches me
And assures me
And finds me
And massages out my insecurities....
He brand marked all of me. 

Spell cast

Your eyes on me pierced me like butter.
The heat you radiated was wave like
Like a turbulent sea.
The sands take form as a body and with each crash of the way. Pieces of me vanished.
Your hand embraced me like a life saving jerk on to safer ground
I was lifted the moment you took hold of my flow.
Breathing was no factor when we shared it
It released my shores and gates to you.
It's was harmony at once,
So fearful yet strong
So violent and long
So delicate
yet not enough

There's change for you
There's feelings that grew

Your lips cured me
You heated me up with each rub.
It became more to me then self worship .
Im coming more this time.
I'm in loving mode.
I can you how to feel
I can tell how to go
I can tame you
As You've tamed me
I'm going to bring the feel to hell's gate and blow you out to me.
Ill have you singing melodies.

Trigger happy

To start this will not make any sense. It'll possibly end poorly and leave you unimpressed. However you will love it or hate it. None of which matters to me.

I've always heard the keys to being a good writer was quiet your brain. Uncluttered the chaos. The words will come out smother and organized. What if the brain is far too stimulated? What if the brain is so filled with cortisol that it can not filter out those loud and obnoxious thoughts!
It's almost as those the mind uses its host to spew out all those words, in order to relax its self.
Remember when Kurt Cobains lyrics were so heavy and raw. It didn't make sense.
Or perfect circle or tool sung it you listened.
People were ok with it. You just figured him/them out or you quit listening to him.

Now the precious audience has gotten so very dull and swallow!
A painful dose of a torn hearted words can be many layers deep ... You may see if you tried to penetrate; you just may see ones fibers. No ones listening ...

A romance dies everyday because the initial layer isn't appealing.
A gifted child gets misunderstood because they can not get to another's point. An angel is ignored for her honesty because no one is looking.

Makes you see why triggers are pulled so close to temple.

That trigger Is ideal for the quiet that it brings. You hear one last exterior disturbance and you a fated in silence.
Its actually beautiful. It makes sense. That's the desire of any heavy headed writer. One that just wants to spew out all the words, and never wants to feel those words again. It is mental coitus, the feeling is joyful. It's a gift.

To the artist...Doesn't it make you feel freer when those achy thoughts are gone? You can breathe freely. You can see straighter. You can plan forward. You can dig deep this time. Make you melt at that bliss.
To the meger conformist with their un-original-ness and gloats at mere common thoughts. Feelings are that the poetry and disorganization of you words are rammed and thrown about that loose leaf paper. That soul may view these words as foreign and dysfunctional.

What happened to the reader that took the time to read the script? The letter? the note? Maybe once? Then... once More? What happened to you?

Well it isn't the words its external garbage. The words are too damn confusing?
There use to be art in verbal banter. The more it didn't make sense the more intense it was.

The trigger as the silencer never needed to be pulled.

Where are our artistic poets... I need to know I'm not alone on this side. The anxious trigger happy...